7/26/2005
Understanding men
- We could run up and down a basketball court for an hour but we couldn’t mow a lawn the size of a half court.
- We pride ourselves of lifting 200-pound weights for 20 reps, but we couldn’t carry a 20-pound baby for 20 minutes.
- We know gadgets, we know electronics stuff, we know the specs of our dream PC, but we couldn’t replace a bulb, fix a leak in the pipe, or jack a tire even if our lives depended on it.
- We have an extensive collection of sports, music, and men’s magazines stashed in a cabinet. Unfortunately, the wardrobe in our closets is just limited to shirts, shorts, socks, underwear, and three pairs of pants.
- We know the latest model of Nike Jordan Air, but we don’t know that a green long-sleeved polo, an oversized undershirt, a brown belt, black pants, white socks, and black leather shoes do not match.
- Our idea of a dream bachelor’s pad is a room full of unwashed dishes, used clothes strewn about, an overflowing and stinking trash bin, and a fly-infested box of leftover pizza left on the dining table. And we expect the ladies we pick up on parties to enter this dungeon.
- We watch women play sports not because they are talented or skillful, but because they look ravishing sweating in a skimpy attire.
- We stuff our mouths with anything potable or edible from beer to dog meat, but stop ourselves from eating healthy green, leafy vegetables. And if we do ever convert to vegetarianism, it would be because Pamela Anderson told us to do so.
- Our dream cable channel lineup would include the following stations: ESPN, ESPN 2, Star Sports, Jack TV, MTV, Channel V, WOWOW, the Playboy Channel, and other foreign channels. Damn the incomprehensible dialect, we’re just after the soft porn shown in the early morning.
- We know what fastbreak points mean, but our everyday vocabulary is just limited to the following words: “Uh?”, “Yeah”, “Darn”, and “Shit!”.
- We expect our beaus to be impeccable, when we ourselves have bad breath, a beer belly, and stinking feet.
- We have kickass gadgets, like the latest iPod, the newest cellphone purchased at the recent Tech Fair, but our bathroom toiletries are limited to a bar of soap, a toothbrush, a toothpaste, and a deodorant all bought at the nearest convenience store.
- We expect our dates to arrive on the dot but we go to work 30 minutes late.
- We are all for equal rights but run at the instance of sighting a cross-dressing faggot.
- We jack up the volume when we are watching our favourite show or listening to our favourite cd, but we curse anyone who wakes us up from our slumber.
- Females rage for a week because of PMS, males rage because they didn’t get a nookie for the night.
- We pull out our guns during traffic altercations, but turn into meek lambs when confronting our wives.
- We could hit ten bowling pins from 30 feet away, but we couldn’t shoot our pee in a toilet just a few inches from us.
- We throw beer on the opposing player because he gave our idol a hard foul.
- We attack the stands and pursue the nearest bystander because someone threw beer at us.
- We could kick a football a distance of 50 feet but we couldn’t saw a piece of wood into three equal parts.
- We pride ourselves of lifting 200-pound weights for 20 reps, but we couldn’t carry a 20-pound baby for 20 minutes.
- We know gadgets, we know electronics stuff, we know the specs of our dream PC, but we couldn’t replace a bulb, fix a leak in the pipe, or jack a tire even if our lives depended on it.
- We have an extensive collection of sports, music, and men’s magazines stashed in a cabinet. Unfortunately, the wardrobe in our closets is just limited to shirts, shorts, socks, underwear, and three pairs of pants.
- We know the latest model of Nike Jordan Air, but we don’t know that a green long-sleeved polo, an oversized undershirt, a brown belt, black pants, white socks, and black leather shoes do not match.
- Our idea of a dream bachelor’s pad is a room full of unwashed dishes, used clothes strewn about, an overflowing and stinking trash bin, and a fly-infested box of leftover pizza left on the dining table. And we expect the ladies we pick up on parties to enter this dungeon.
- We watch women play sports not because they are talented or skillful, but because they look ravishing sweating in a skimpy attire.
- We stuff our mouths with anything potable or edible from beer to dog meat, but stop ourselves from eating healthy green, leafy vegetables. And if we do ever convert to vegetarianism, it would be because Pamela Anderson told us to do so.
- Our dream cable channel lineup would include the following stations: ESPN, ESPN 2, Star Sports, Jack TV, MTV, Channel V, WOWOW, the Playboy Channel, and other foreign channels. Damn the incomprehensible dialect, we’re just after the soft porn shown in the early morning.
- We know what fastbreak points mean, but our everyday vocabulary is just limited to the following words: “Uh?”, “Yeah”, “Darn”, and “Shit!”.
- We expect our beaus to be impeccable, when we ourselves have bad breath, a beer belly, and stinking feet.
- We have kickass gadgets, like the latest iPod, the newest cellphone purchased at the recent Tech Fair, but our bathroom toiletries are limited to a bar of soap, a toothbrush, a toothpaste, and a deodorant all bought at the nearest convenience store.
- We expect our dates to arrive on the dot but we go to work 30 minutes late.
- We are all for equal rights but run at the instance of sighting a cross-dressing faggot.
- We jack up the volume when we are watching our favourite show or listening to our favourite cd, but we curse anyone who wakes us up from our slumber.
- Females rage for a week because of PMS, males rage because they didn’t get a nookie for the night.
- We pull out our guns during traffic altercations, but turn into meek lambs when confronting our wives.
- We could hit ten bowling pins from 30 feet away, but we couldn’t shoot our pee in a toilet just a few inches from us.
- We throw beer on the opposing player because he gave our idol a hard foul.
- We attack the stands and pursue the nearest bystander because someone threw beer at us.
- We could kick a football a distance of 50 feet but we couldn’t saw a piece of wood into three equal parts.
// posted by Unknown @ 10:45 
