11/24/2005
Top ten worst sports
10 squash – really now. If I’m going to play tennis, or a variation of it, why would I play with a wall as volley partner? You’re such a loser to be playing against an inanimate object. It’s like playing handball.
9 handball – I believe there are two kinds of handball. One is what the Americans play, hitting a ball against a wall with a device attached to the palm to hit the ball with. Then there’s this one I saw in an Australian cable channel that somehow resembles basketball. The goal doesn’t have a backboard and the players can’t dribble. How sucky is that?
8 croquet – ever heard of an old man’s sport? These are for people who are senile enough not having the energy to walk for 18 holes and poor enough not to afford a golf cart.
7 fin swimming – anything for a gold medal them Vietnamese hosts of the 2003 Southeast Asian Games. Tiffany and I researched that so-called sport trying to look for local regional sports to feature in HF. What’s so competitive in fin swimming, you tell me.
6 curling – it’s one of those winter sports that I have no idea what it looks like or how it goes. Sounds more like what they do in beauty parlors.
5 lacrosse – for the simple reason that this is Canada’s national sport.
4 flag football – rugby is brutal and barbaric, which basically fluctuates from extreme cool to extreme yucky in my appreciation meter. Then you’ve got a sissy variation of it called American football, so as not to confuse with the REAL football, which 200-pound men play with pads and helmets. What worse than Monday Night Football? A sissy variation of a sissy sport. Enter flag football, a non-contact contact sport.
3 polo – really now, who gets to play this sport? It’s elitist, it’s anti-animals, and you don’t give that much physical exertion since it’s the horses that do the running anyway. Why don’t you play its water version instead? Field hockey would have made this list if only a South Park episode didn’t remind me that a sport such as this exists.
2 cricket – there are a million reasons to hate cricket. It’s long, it’s dragging, it’s boring. One match takes days to finish. Baseball doesn’t hold a candle as a timeless game compared to sports’ Arabian epic A Thousand and One Nights.
1 golf – first of all, this destroys the ecology. Imagine if they converted these golf courses to ricefields instead. Compute how many football fields they could make out of a par 3 hole. The game is so complicated with a spatter of clubs for this and that with various swings depending on the club you’re using. Then you have a caddy that carries your golf bag for you and a golf cart to retrieve your ball, you lazybones. No way you’d caught me dead playing this game.
9 handball – I believe there are two kinds of handball. One is what the Americans play, hitting a ball against a wall with a device attached to the palm to hit the ball with. Then there’s this one I saw in an Australian cable channel that somehow resembles basketball. The goal doesn’t have a backboard and the players can’t dribble. How sucky is that?
8 croquet – ever heard of an old man’s sport? These are for people who are senile enough not having the energy to walk for 18 holes and poor enough not to afford a golf cart.
7 fin swimming – anything for a gold medal them Vietnamese hosts of the 2003 Southeast Asian Games. Tiffany and I researched that so-called sport trying to look for local regional sports to feature in HF. What’s so competitive in fin swimming, you tell me.
6 curling – it’s one of those winter sports that I have no idea what it looks like or how it goes. Sounds more like what they do in beauty parlors.
5 lacrosse – for the simple reason that this is Canada’s national sport.
4 flag football – rugby is brutal and barbaric, which basically fluctuates from extreme cool to extreme yucky in my appreciation meter. Then you’ve got a sissy variation of it called American football, so as not to confuse with the REAL football, which 200-pound men play with pads and helmets. What worse than Monday Night Football? A sissy variation of a sissy sport. Enter flag football, a non-contact contact sport.
3 polo – really now, who gets to play this sport? It’s elitist, it’s anti-animals, and you don’t give that much physical exertion since it’s the horses that do the running anyway. Why don’t you play its water version instead? Field hockey would have made this list if only a South Park episode didn’t remind me that a sport such as this exists.
2 cricket – there are a million reasons to hate cricket. It’s long, it’s dragging, it’s boring. One match takes days to finish. Baseball doesn’t hold a candle as a timeless game compared to sports’ Arabian epic A Thousand and One Nights.
1 golf – first of all, this destroys the ecology. Imagine if they converted these golf courses to ricefields instead. Compute how many football fields they could make out of a par 3 hole. The game is so complicated with a spatter of clubs for this and that with various swings depending on the club you’re using. Then you have a caddy that carries your golf bag for you and a golf cart to retrieve your ball, you lazybones. No way you’d caught me dead playing this game.
// posted by Unknown @ 19:33 
