Nash Flash

Disclaimer: This requires about an hour or two of Wiki-reading.

Browsing through Wikipedia for categories of Chinese and Filipino dialects (sporadically and acceptably referred to as actual languages), I happened upon several Wiki entries that I found quite arresting. The order in which I present these URLs does not mirror the order in which I read them, but I am presenting this in a manner which would've probably made it easier for my digestion if it were pre-outlined for me. (I highly recommend using Mozilla or tab-supported browsers).

I will start you off with some light Wiki-reading:

Countries by English-speaking Population

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_English-speaking_population

English Dialects

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dialects_of_the_English_language

English-based Creole Languages

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English-based_creole_languages

Filipino Criollos

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creole_peoples#Philippine_Criollos

We Drink Ritalin

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_Drink_Ritalin

And now, for the main course:

Tagalog

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tagalog_language

Filipino

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_language

Filipino vs. Tagalog

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipino_vs._Tagalog

Philippine English

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippine_English

Taglish

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taglish

Englog (sometimes “Enggalog”)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Englog

Chinglish

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinglish

Singlish

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singlish

Pidgin English

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pidgin_English

Hawaiian Pidgin

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawaiian_Pidgin

Engrish (えくすつり無理仮い　ひいすてりかる！！！ - read: e-ku-su-tu-ri-mu-ri-ka-ri-i hi-i-su-te-ri-ka-ru, or “extremely hysterical”.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engrish

All Your Base Are Belong To Us

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_your_base_are_belong_to_us

Humorous as they may be, I found these last several pages very informative. They brought about some aspects of the culture(s) I grew up in that I never really paid much attention to, and enlightened me on certain questions I had regarding my background, exempli gratia: “How did I end up with an English ancestor?”, “Why do most Filipino-Chinese speak Hokkien and not Mandarin?”, and the initially-rhetorical question “Why do Coños talk that way, naman eh?”

I’ve lived in some of the most diverse communities throughout my existence on Earth, and I have friends who have exposed me to just about every culture there is out there. I have been subjected to caste, racial classification, stereotyping, prejudiced generalization, and distorted categorization everywhere I go – all based on appearance, my parent’s accents, and my distinct accent which, apparently, is only evident when switching languages in the middle of a conversation. If that wasn’t hard enough, try being a First-generation middle-class American (born in California, the armpit of the world, of all places) product of two Filipino expatriates, particularly a Chinese mother with a lone Spanish ancestor and the end-result of the mingling of the Birmingham (English), de Ocampo (Portugese), Tanjutco (Min Nan expats), and del Pilar (Spanish) clans for a father. Throw in a Native American and an African into the mix, and every racial joke ever conceived might as well be addressed towards me. But never have I been offended by any, although I may jokingly say “I’ll kill anyone who dares to call me a Twinkie,” refusing to be miscataloged as “yellow on the outside, white on the inside.” Matter-of-factly, I am, more of a lemon-frosted donut with vanilla candy sprinkles.

Yes, I said it - I have nothing in the middle. You no contradict me, ok lah?

李将要

PS

Thanks to the IME, (Caveman discovers the IME! Duh-oh!) learning how to read and write in Japanese and Chinese have been made easier. I just need to work on expanding my vocabulary.

ぢっと。(I just made that up. Is there really a Nihongo equivalent to “ditto”?)